How to Make a Decision: written lovingly by someone who hates making them

There are a couple of big decisions I need to make in my life. To tell you the truth, they have been plaguing me for a long time. Whenever anyone asks me how things are going (especially those who I feel the need to "catch up" with) I ramble on...telling of my latest and greatest train of thought in this dreaded decision-making process. Who knows what I'm even saying? Who cares? If I was to be completely truthful, I would say that my ramblings are just a form of procrastination. The fact that I tell people, "I'm trying to decide..." is just a way of me putting off the actual decision itself.

One of the decisions is whether or not I am going on a mission trip to Columbia. It's coming up very soon, and I feel myself making the decision in a very passive and cowardly way...simply by means of not doing anything. I have not gotten my passport. I have not looked into what shots I need to get. I could not even tell you the dates of the mission trip. I am embarrassed by my lack of action. Looking at myself from the outside, I would love to say that I am a "go-getter," but alas, I am blatantly letting this opportunity pass me by.

I am feeling remorse about this, because I feel like going on a mission trip is something that I do, in fact, want to do. Really! I do! Then why am I not jumping at the chance to go?? It makes no sense.

I can tell you this...I have not been in consistent prayer about this decision. I have not fervently asked God to provide direction or wisdom. I am relying solely on my human ways of reasoning...and look where it's gotten me. My stomach is twisted in knots and I cringe every time someone mentions the word "mission" because I know what I've done...or should I say what I've not done.

So what am I going to do about it? Give myself a swift kick in the butt and take some action!

Step 1: PRAY. Pray that God will zap me with motivation and vigor. Pray that Jesus will help me to not take this life He has given me for granted. Pray that the Holy Spirit will calm my spirit and help me to find my worthiness in Him alone. (If you know me, love me, and see or talk to me, please ask me if I'm doing this!)
Step 2: Fill out the application for a passport that was lovingly placed on our kitchen counter by my oh-so-supportive husband (thank you for pushing me to always be better, Patrick!).
Step 3: TURN IT IN (I suppose I need to figure out where exactly to turn it in to...) This way there will be one less excuse next time a mission opportunity comes up. Sneaky, sneaky...
Step 4: Write down the reasons why I want to go on a mission trip. This way they will be more tangible to me, versus something I just say to make myself feel like a better human being.

Ok, I better stop there. I get overwhelmed with long lists of tasks way too easily.

If I was a friend of myself and I came to myself for advice on making this decision. I would say this, "Take tangible steps of action, as if you have made the decision one way or the other. Pray for God to raise up red flags if it is the wrong decision, and for Him to clear the path of obstacles if it is the right decision. The worst thing you could do is to do nothing."

Now to attempt to take my own advice.

Moral of the Story: Don't wallow in what you haven't done. Pray to the God who loves you despite and because of everything. And for God's sake...take action!

Lucy! You're Home!!!

Meet Lucy, the newest member of the Taylor family :D

She's just too cute to have a small picture!

Yes folks, that's right! Patrick and I just adopted/rescued our first puppy!
And here's how the story goes:

Ever since we long-term dog sat for our friends Katie and Mark we knew that we just had to have our own bundle of love; it was just a matter of time. Early last week we got an email from our friend, Kim, notifying us that a friend of a friend had found four puppies on her doorstep when she went to get the mail in the morning. Talk about a surprise that could rock your world! She graciously took them in to try and find all of them homes. Well, come to find out, there were actually three more puppies found in the field behind her house! Luckily her neighbor took on finding homes for the additional cuties. (I just have to give props to both of these amazing families. I'm so thankful that they had the means to find proper homes for the sweet little darlings...what a task!) So just to recap, SEVEN puppies total were found...one male and six females. As soon as I got the email, I forwarded it to P, and we took a look at the good ole' Taylor budget to make sure we weren't crazy to possibly take this on. We knew it would be a big financial commitment. In addition to making sure we were in a good place financially, we also had to consider the time and energy we knew it would take to properly care for a pet...especially a puppy pet! I knew it would be totally different from when my family had a dog growing up. This time I would be the one to feed, walk and clean up after our new furry friend. Another piece of the puzzle was that the puppies were found in Hernando, MS, which is about 50 minutes away from where we live. We're not just talking a quick trip...it would be more like a hefty jaunt. We had to make sure this feeling wasn't just a whim. After what seemed like forever, we finally decided to go "take a look" (haha...as if that's ever all we were going to do!) I called Deanne (who found the puppies) and told her we were on our way! She let us know that there were only two puppies left (both girls) out of the seven. Wow! That's awesome that five of the puppies had already found homes! (And now that I'm looking back on it, I'm really really glad, because it was hard enough just choosing between two!)

We had so much fun meeting both puppies and talking with Deanne about their personalities, mannerisms, etc. Like I said, it was SO hard to choose between the two sisters. Let alone leave one behind :( And if you know me at all, you know how much trouble I have with decisions... we actually got to the point where we literally had to stop and pray that God would give us peace and direction towards which puppy to choose! (it sounds silly...but I'm learning more and more about the power of prayer...even for "simple" things)

Here's Patrick with Lucy's sister...see what trouble we had?

We chose our little grey love muffin (I know, I know...gag!) because of her sleek/slender frame and spunky personality. Between the two, she definitely took on the dominant role when they were playing. Although now that she's in a new environment she is very timid. Gradually we see her building confidence, though, and it's super fun! Another reason we fell in love with her was her unique coloring. I always pictured us with a red haired dog (go figure), but now that we have her I can't wait to watch her grow into a beautiful adult dog. It's like a fun story that we don't know the ending to, and I just love surprises!

Our happy family :)

As far as her name goes, we tested out a few other options before we landed on "Lucy." We knew we wanted a people name. After all, it'd have to hold a candle to our cat's name, "Moses," so it was only fair. Our friend, Katie, suggested the name "Lucy" after she met her that first night we brought her home. Oddly enough, Patrick confessed that when he saw a picture of her, that very name had popped into his head. It also just so happened that the day after we got her would have been Lucille Ball's 100th birthday!! And seriously, who wouldn't want to be able to say, "Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!" to lighten the mood after one of the inevitable "puppicidents" we're going to have, right?!

Welcome home, Lucy! We're delighted you're finally here!

PS: She's having a puppy dream as I'm writing this blog...go get'em, girl!
PPS: I talked to Deanne today and she loves the name we chose. She also let us know that Lucy's sister was able to find a forever home on Saturday. Get this: the family that adopted her sister had a little boy and girl. When Deanne said, "Are you going to love your new little puppy?" the little girl responded, "I already do love her!" My feelings exactly!

Moral of the Story: Good things are definitely worth waiting for.

What to do...what to do...

So I'm at a turning point in my little old life. It's nothing MONUMENTAL...but nonetheless, it is an action that needs to be taken that will change my day to day activities. Here's the thing...notice I said "needs" to be taken...not "wants" to be taken. If you know me (and now even if you don't!) you know that I despise change. Anything that requires me to move out of a particular zone of comfort makes me squirmy, makes my armpits itch (if you will) and makes me ultimately come up with any excuse in the book NOT to do it.

Okay..so this isn't me, it's my husband - but you get the idea. Are YOUR armpits itching yet?!

Here's what I've got so far in the way of excuses:

1. If I do this said "action" (which is not being revealed for security purposes of my livelihood) I will not have the chance to interact with as many people throughout the week. 

2. I will lose the relationships I have so lovingly created at this "said place." 

3. My husband and I will have to live a little tighter in the money region of our lives unless I am able to bump up my graphic design freelance activities.

4. I won't be able to bump up my graphic design freelance activities.

5. I will become a hermit who watches old Cosby episodes by day and yearns for human interaction by night while my husband goes out into the "real" world and brings home the bread.

6. Heaven forbid...I will have to earn a new clientele and build new relationships and new credibility and new self esteem in a way, because all that I have built up at "said place" will be non-existent.


Okay...that's limiting enough. And now for something completely different! I will address each excuse with the ever-present truth that lives within me (aka my crack at a Godly perspective) and let's see where we end up.

1. If I do this said "action" (which is not being revealed for security purposes of my livelihood) I will not have the chance to interact with as many people throughout the week.

 Actually, it is me who has complete control over how many people I interact with throughout my week, not my circumstances. If I want to meet more people, why not go to a cafe or a coffee shop or the grocery store or the bank or the gas station or the library...the list goes on. People are everywhere. All I need to do is get off my butt and go meet them!

2. I will lose the relationships I have so lovingly created at this "said place."

For each loving relationship I have so lovingly created I have a lovely phone number to go with it (and if I don't yet, then I can get it before "said action" takes place.) Would it really kill me to rely upon purposeful interactions with these individuals instead of the "oh, I just happened to run into you so I'll talk to you" method??? I think not.

3. My husband and I will have to live a little tighter in the money region of our lives unless I am able to bump up my graphic design freelance activities.

In all actuality we can handle living a little "tighter." The truth of the matter is there are a lot of people out there who survive on a lot less than what we would have even if I am not able to bump up my graphic design freelance activities. Which leads me to my next point...

4. I won't be able to bump up my graphic design freelance activities.

The only reason I haven't been able to bump up my graphic design freelance activities is because I've been too busy with "said action" to actively pursue these activities!! Problem solved.

5. I will become a hermit who watches old Cosby episodes by day and yearns for human interaction by night while my husband goes out into the "real" world and brings home the bread.

Again...I control the amount of "hermitishness" I become NOT the "hermitishness" (yes, I will say my made up word again!) controlling me. God put us on this earth to interact with each other (and, I believe, to also watch a Cosby episode here and there) and I will not let this change take away my ability to interact with others.

6. Heaven forbid...I will have to earn a new clientele and build new relationships and new credibility and new self esteem, because all that I have built up at "said place" will be non-existent.

This is the point of life! To create "new clientele," "new relationships" and "new credibility" at every turn; to have my self esteem based upon the rock that is Jesus (how He loves us!) and not what others might think of me. God did not put us on this earth to be comfortable, but to GO and love all types of people. Truth be known, I am using this "said place" that I am tied down to now as a scapegoat...something to cowardly rely on...because I am scared to have to create my own relationships from scratch. (or "from a scratch" as my sweet little second cousin would say) It's okay to be scared, but it's not okay to let my fear control my actions. No way. No how.

Hokay...I don't know about you, but at the conclusion of all of this a few phrases come to mind.

"Man up, Bambi!!"

"Just do it."

"Everyting will be ahrighy!" (my attempt to spell out how the Jamaicans say "Everything will be all right")

It's true. Everything will be all right if I just do it and man up, Bambi! I'm not saying my fear of change is gone. All I'm saying is that it should not be my focus in this matter of life. In fact, even as I contemplate what to type next and the consequences of those typings, my stomach is in knots and I feel the worry creeping up my backbone. Lord, only YOU can help me overcome this doubt. Only YOU can give me the strength to shut the mouths of these lions as you did for Daniel (Daniel 6:10-23).

I WILL pass through this turning point in my life and come out on the other side...armpits itching and all!

Moral of the Story: No matter what fears you face, our God is bigger, and if you seek His guidance you will find the courage to do what you knew you needed to do all along.